Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When your child is dying and you can do nothing about it...


Below is a commentary I posted on someone else's blog. The original post was a response to the murder of the late-term abortion doctor, Dr. Tiller:

I want to attempt a personal response while avoiding ad-homonym. wish me luck: My wife and I were sitting on the sofa one night recently when the story of Tiller’s murder was reiterated (why, I don’t recall). From my wife, I heard an audible gasp.
(me) “What, you didn’t hear about this? It was a few months ago.”
(wife) “No, I didn’t. Hon, that was MY doctor.” She teared up immediately.

Some clarifications – we are both Christian (for 5 years now) and very pro-life. We do not condone his murder, period. My wife went through a late-term abortion during her 1st marriage 9 years ago. The baby had an acute dwarfism that kept his ribcage tiny, so the heart developed fully and left no room for lungs. My wife and her husband were convinced the baby would either die in utero or be born and suffocate (convinced by a local Dr, not Tiller). They felt they were conducting an act of mercy, and so did Dr. Tiller.

Here’s what I have learned:
(1) Pro-Lifers want to paint late term abortion doctors as evil monsters who will stop at nothing to murder. A fact that can't be ignored is that abortion kills a human that did nothing to deserve it - that is called murder, and that makes abortionists murderers. The 'monster' image, however, just isn't true. Dr. Tiller and his staff were more caring and loving than any of us (pro-lifers) may ever want to believe. They walked my wife and her husband thru the process for a week before it was done, and they held their hands the whole way. I recently saw the memorabilia my wife still has from that day.
(2) As we looked through the memorabilia, my wife sobbed openly and I joined her. Even 9 years later she was asking for forgiveness from the Lord and her son, Gavin. Before she was a Christian, she still was haunted by the guilt of killing her child, even though she felt it was the merciful thing to do. Perhaps “Post-Abortion Trauma Syndrome” is rare, perhaps it’s pervasive. The pro-abortion groups want you to think it’s fictitious – don’t ever believe them.
(3) As we battle to end the work of abortion, we have to be acutely aware that we are facing humans, not monsters, in the fight. Cain was human, Ahab and Jezebel were human, Judas was human. We all are, and we lose perspective if we forget that. All I’m saying here is that your weapons will be oversized and your aim and tactics will be adversely effected if you mistake who you’re fighting against.
(4) There are ways to help that are grossly underutilized. Spread this far and wide:


Perinatal Hospice is the option my wife was never offered. Why kill you baby if it’s going to die naturally anyway? PH will give you all the love and care and medical assistance parents of “terminal pregnancies” will need to go through the pregnancy without the guilt of ending your own child’s life. So long as abortion has to be an option, be sure everyone knows there are better options.

With love in Christ,

Below is another quote and some websites and blogs on the topic:

"When I [author Dr. Matt Anderson] called the MFM [material-fetal medicine] specialist, she immediately rattled off the severe abnormalities found, the fetus' incompatibility with life, and the scheduling of an abortion. I interrupted: "If the baby is going to die anyway, why do you want to kill it before it dies a natural death?" There was silence on the other end. I went on to explain that the parents would not have to deal with the guilt of killing their child if it died naturally. There was a pause, then, "I hadn't thought of that," she said."

the above is part of an article found here:


I originally read the quote here:


...and this link needs to be shared as much as possible:


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